It’s ironic that in the last post I wrote about never quite making the mark.
Having been desperately disappointed at not getting the grade which I was expecting to get in my degree, and not understanding why, today I did a little investigation. You see I knew I had to get above 60% to = a II.1 as my tutor had told me.
My grades went like this
module 1 63%, 65%, 67% = 65% average
module 2 63%, 64%, 66% = 64.3% average
module 3 56%, 54%, 67% = 59% average
Total 1st year average = 62.7%
module 4 58%, 58%, 60% = 58.6% average
module 5 61%, 57%, 59% + 59.3% average
module 6 63%, 60%, 65% = 62.6% average
Total 2nd year average = 60.1%
My 6 modules combined = an average 61.4% .
I celebrated a Merit = II.1 I was over the moon.
However my celebrations were a little premature. – When the classifications came out I was only a Pass = II.2
I am so disappointed.
There were three Distinctions in the class, most people were a Merit, and then there were just three Passes.
I was absolutely gutted. After such a stressful 2 years and working so very hard, it was the worst news. I felt incredibly disappointed, disheartened and embarrassed; more than I ever realised I would. On Saturday my whole class were to meet for lunch, I wasn’t quite sure whether I could face everyone, but on the day I decided to get it over with. The graduation is in December. I so wanted to do well for myself – but most especially for my children.
Today this is what I learned.
On investigation, my 1st year = an average of 62.1%
On investigation my 2nd year = an average of 60.1%
My total average = 61.4% .
However the total average is not considered.
In my 1st year I had 2 individual modules over 60%.
Unfortunately the classifications are based upon whether you have two modules of 60% or over in your 2nd year. A 60% average of all 3 modules in the 2nd year is neither considered.
You = only a pass if you score between 40% + 59% on two modules.
To say I am gutted is an absolute understatement.
Why do we set our sense of self-worth, and judge ourselves upon these successes and failures, and feel so inadequate when we fail to meet our hoped for expectations – and yet not judge our sense of self-worth upon how much we Love and care for others – which I think is maybe how God will judge us.
And yet when we admire others we admire them for their Love and warmth, and not for the grade of their degree.
Food for thought . . .
We pray for Grace.
More ironic still – this is blog post number 77
The number of †en-fold forgiveness.
The number of Perfect Love.