Fallacy of love

I could get really angry.

I could get really angry at old men, who once-upon-a-time with no happy ending, held a professional job and high office in public life, and then beyond in private life allowed physical sexual immorality to devastate the human kindness that was afforded them in the name of Christianity.

I look at Jesus and we cry and we pray together.

I could get really angry that someone who knows not the defilement of rape, neither the decimation or desperation of suicide – has the audacity to hold an opinion on one who has encountered either experience, and responded to their experience in equal decimation and desperation – only then to be potentially rendered guilty of committing the highest gravest possible sin and selfishness against humanity – without their same accuser (else society) being held accountable for the victims response.  Thank God I see outside the box!

I look at Jesus and we cry and we pray together.

I could get really angry with some, especially whilst others are reprimanded for being scum of the earth, a disgrace to their children and spouse, whilst married trapped and celibate in order to prevent all from committing a mortal sin, whilst living under a co-habitio order – and banished for being upheld as sexually immoral.

I look at Jesus and we cry and pray together.

I could get really angry  for not being afforded (or affording myself) physical affection because of acute faithfulness to Love – whilst being upheld accountable and punishable for something forged, which is potentially prosecutable – threatened liable for this ‘crime’ – whilst being nothing other than God bestowed Love.

I look at Jesus and we cry and we pray together.

I could get really angry that families are to be an example of commitment and unconditional fidelity which allows children to flourish, be nurtured and prosper for the greater good of the building blocks of society.  When by obedience those whom we love and respect and aspire to, are exempt from practising what they preach – whilst living a life of obedient independence, social graces, and privileges – whilst holding in sublime transcendent contradiction the tension of poverty, wealth, obedience, and freedom, above and beyond the other family which they ‘sell’ in minions to the trillions.

Thank God for the Ordinariate.

I look at Jesus and we cry and we pray together.

I could get really angry that my whole being, my whole person and many of my relationships, are restricted and discriminated against because of the way my body is perceived by man – When growing up in a big family with boys and girls, and being a swimmer as a child, and an actor with costume changes, and having a big family of both sexes of my own – that means communal dressing and undressing, made any bodily nakedness and function absolutely a non-sexual necessity without repercussions – And yet as an adult fully clothed my modesty is judged and labeled for the shape of my body, and so too for the Love which I emanate.  One wonders if I would be judged the same if I had a disability, were obese, unattractive, disfigured, flat-chested and yet still the same person emanating the same Love.

I look at Jesus and we cry and we pray together.

I could get really angry that in the name of ‘Jesus’ and ‘spiritual growth’ (just as it was in the secular name of  ‘growth’ in drama school) some want to break the ‘perceived shit’ out of you by grinding you down to the darkest depths of your most ‘despised’ self (or more to the point to the part of you most despised by others) in order to build you up, then crush you, in order to make you die to self, (is this murder I ask, or assisted suicide/euthanasia?) in order for you to be resurrected, to rise above and live a selfless life-giving life, in the name of the king and conqueror of sin and injustice – Jesus my Beloved – In order to live in empathy with those in  poverty of the most impoverished kind.  When actually Jesus’ mercy and forgiveness is one of Love and not blame, humiliation or murder.

I look at Jesus and we cry and we pray together.

Thank God in my Sanctuary for the blessed – mystical – alive – tangible Aggemian print of my Beloved.  It  is the last light that I see each night before I drift off to sleep, and the light that I see each evening should I stir in the darkest night, and the first light which I see in the earliest morning when I first awake.

Love.

That talks by the expression in His eyes.

That communicates.

That holds me.

That is mystically alive.

That Loves me.

That makes Love to me.

In Truth.

Thank God ~ that my first and last words of each and every day be ever my affirmation.

I Love You.

I Love You.

I Love You.

Advertisements

About mags

Beloved apostle of His Soul x
This entry was posted in female discipleship. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s