On Saturday I snook into the back of Church in order to hear a much awaited homily by the Novice Master of the Order of Preachers ~ I wanted to be knocked off my seat by him. Lose my footing. Be won over. Be awoken from the deepest shade of Blue. It was a unenamouring piece of scripture from which he was preaching, I hadn’t looked up what it was to be, prior to going, but I know it well.
Eye for Eye
38 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’39 But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. 40 And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. 41 If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. 42 Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.
Love for Enemies
43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.”
I prayed for him, that he would feel the welcome and Love of this little parish, especially as I had read the devastating news in the Tablet this week, an article about the Dominican (CES) former religious education advisor who had appeared in court charged with possessing more that 5,000 indecent images of children.
My heart bleeds for the Dominicans for whom I have a great fondness, and so too once more for the Catholic Church, which is filled with people who care pastorally, diligently and whole heartedly about our children’s future and welfare, and of the future generations integral place within the Catholic Church and Community.
I wasn’t knocked off my seat by his words ~ But there was something in his clarity in the way that he preached, that once again reached out and said hear me loud and clear.
I like clarity ~ this stems from my personal love of the theatre, I spent much time working there as a young woman, and I know what presentation styles I like. It was very real, not forged, not over performed or hammy, but delivered no less with quiet acquired strength and gentle tenacious assurance and humility. He told us it was a difficult piece of scripture for many people ~ but for me it wasn’t ~ I know it well. I do pray for my enemies ~ and I do pray for those who persecute me ~ and I do Love them.
I so wanted to engage in conversation with him, but unfortunately someone else engaged me in conversation and I couldn’t break away, and then 20 minutes later he left, and so I missed my God-given opportunity.
Some things just aren’t ever meant to be.
I havent been to church in a while, nor am I going for the forseeable future ~ and so to receive the body and blood one more time, was All powerful and All intoxicating. My heightened yearning to receive Christ’s Loving presence physically once again was raw and charged with interior hurting ~ and yearning. I knew He would refuel me with His physical Love ~ I have missed the deepness of Him recharging me in this Sacred Sacramental Union ~ I have missed His gentle body melting like prayer in the depth of my being, then deeper still back into the depth of His Spirit. I missed the warm Spirit of His blood filtering into my own body as if in transfusion to my own. I have missed Him making Love to me in this way . . . and yet . . . in the deepest most personal Spiritual Communion there is another dimension ~ one of heightened desire and indescribable timelessness that has no limits but of its own privacy and call ~ a Union which takes ones breath away unexpected ~ which rouses the soul from the earth to the Spirit in one momentous bodily upwave ~ And only then beyond the surge, gently subsiding as if the tide were being softly called back by the moon ~ Prayer taken on the current ~ without any deliberate conscious transaction ~ just a natural communion in the body ~ spirit to Spirit.
Mary, and so too the colour blue, have been a reoccurring feature of the past few months. And on Saturday whilst I was engaged in the unbreakable conversation in church, my best friends darling little boy in all his innocence interrupted us. He proceeded to hand me a gift for having looked after him since October after school, whilst his mummy was both working and then poorly. It was a beautiful perfect deepest Mary blue St Martin’s Rosary, in a little book styled box, with a coral coloured opal plaque of Jesus on the front ~ and bless that darling child ~ he even took it to the priest to get it blessed.
Blue truly is the very warmest colour ~ so blue ~ so much comfort ~ so much Love ~
So Much Love.