Poetry

Dear Lord,

Harden not my heart.

Steep me in your tenderness.

Infuse me with your gentleness.

Arouse me with Belovedness.

Enrapture me with wonder.

I Amb

I Am already dead.  I Am already alive with God.  I Am already Spirit.  Already Word. Already Love.  A gentle breeze.  I Am sitting on the right.

And then my mother gives birth to me – human.

All at once I was born a baby.  Perfect.  Love.  Then I was forced in a series of persistent contractions down the birth canal –  Adult.  Alive.  Dead with God.  All earth-Spirit. Undiagnosed dyslexic fumbling outspoken falling short word.  Love kept getting spoiled with unLove.  I hung to the left in a skirt.

And then beyond childhood He was born – 2000 years ago before the future – Divinely Human.

He shows me the way home to myself.

I will swim with the nucleotide through my own DeoxyriboNucleic Acid – to the last molecule – where I will jump off the end into . . .

He will catch all of my nothingness

On Earth . . .  as it is in

Heaven.

Home from Home.

Alive.  Body.  Spirit.  Word.  Gentle.  Breeze.  Right.  Love.

My Beloved Love

You spend my life teaching me how to breathe

So that I can live at once beyond breath.

You take my living and force me to die

And then you forge a life from death.

Life irreconcilable, unrecognisable.

You made so many faithful kin fail

By exacting their wrath against me,

Why – they know not of for sure.

But once, where my head with Love was blessed,

Kind, unmarked and pure before,

Now branded, engraved by a jury employed.

T’is Love Not, from their eyes that stare

Their Love thus weakened, ill deployed,

And therein lies their lessons there.

My dear God’s work I clear can see,

Ti’s work of man beleagures me.

Adulterous stones at first are cast

On fallacy, man builds his caste

To make us fall and test our faith.

And yet Dear God no guilt at all,

Where Spirit and Truth do reign supreme

Where she Loved him and I Love You

And there your Love seduces me.

Dear Lord oh how you Love me so,

As Eros Loves dear Psyche Free

Of death, irreconcilably.

Your Spirit Ruah, breathes life in me.

Dear Lord oh how I Love You so.

Oh God I Love him so.

In The Chapel

Morning Sisters pray

Beneath a canopy of stars

Breathtaking Psalms.

My heart cupped in prayer

On Psalms sublime is lifted to

My Beloved Spouse.

Beloved Lovers merge

Above the canopy of stars

In prayer sublime.

Daughter of Eve

Transformed in grace to Mary new

Loved by Son of man.

Sun anoints the moon

Embalms my human soul in Love

Resurrected Faith.

Son anoints the womb

Embalms immortal souls in Love

Resurrection.  Grace.

Evening Sisters pray

By night, before the risen Son

Breathtaking Psalms.

 First Ever Haiku

Our Love distilled pure

Separate by alchemy

Higher in Spirit.

Hydrologic cycle

Desert

Death.

She curls up little creature coiled

Head to knee, lips to breast

Prayer in chest.

She battens all hatches down

Closes doors, Pushes walls

Burning bridges.

She falls

Like Niagara

Into the ocean,

Water under the bridge.

Birthed by womb

Birthed by font

Anointed with yearning.

Oil and water not mixing.

She waits to evaporate

To re-transcend

hydrologic.

She curls up little creature coiled

Head to knee, lips to breast

Prayer in chest.

Shoulder blades.  Wings,

issued soon enough.

Tears reign

Reservoirs

Life.

 

Prayer

My body seeks and finds his body in the deep of the night and his body seeks and finds mine, I have no idea how . . . . but God.

It amazes me how our spirits never fail to find one another, they intertwine in healing all parting divine.

They seal each other as they rise and fall like hot wax sealing a letter with Love, only the beloved can open.

Through Him every sweetness has been traced in him, and every trace has been discovered in sweetness sublime.

There is no part of him that my lips have not by his skin been kissed. Caressed there is no part of me in his leaving unblessed.

Content in Heavens consent . . . we seek languid slumbery sleep . . . we seep into each others being, one becomes the other the other becoming one, leaving no trace of two selves to be seen, no trace of having been.

It is here there is no waking and no sleeping, no parting, no break of hearting, and no return, for in each other we are Home.

mags psalm 42

Autonomy disabled by an ocean of dualism

Undivided, whilst the fraping see

Play god with abandon, till hearts broken are heartless.

.

Divide Heaven from life, isles so holy from sea

Planks in their eyes, make light of my splinters

Earth and Heaven made One on the cross of the tree.

My Love

I did not fall in Love with you.
In the very beginning He gave us life
He made us in His Love.
I
Love
You
In triune.
I feel not alone.
It was not my call
But my calling.
Through Him
With Him
In Him.
Your tender gentle being seeped into every part of my existence.
Your sweetest heart held in the eternity of my days.
My life will never belong to me again.
It is His Will that it forever belongs to you.

Once I was a Bud

Once I was a bud.  Solid, tightly closed, safe

Pip, heart, seed, in the centre hidden

Beneath layers of ever-increasing budding growth

Layers of outer softer growth

Softening outwardly

Secretly ever concealing and protecting my core

Whilst being perfectly, outwardly bud for all.

Then He comes to me . . . through spring

Beckoning me, teasing me open

I’m in fear of no more being me;

A bud I so know how to be.

Layers ever renewing, regenerating strength

Whilst protecting the precious, fragile, perfect heart within

Hidden.  Sacredly privately being

Stored safely away, in a safe place

Undisclosed.

He then. . . takes all my buddingness away from me

One safe leafy layer at a time

His fingers barely touch the bud soft flesh

But like magic under His spell . . .

The bud in apprehensive, though unstoppable wonderment unfurls

She flowers.  So bright and bold and Beautiful and True . . . then all the petals fall

Leaving nothing . . . but    i n v i s i b l e

Where . . .

. . . He strolls with me blithely through the garden

He weaves the flowers through my hair

Their spirals are but kernels of His knowledge unfurling.

Undressing me, He reveals and delights in my skin so bare

And yet there is nakedness nowhere . . . to be seen

And there He Loves me.  He fills me with His peace

He Loves me again and again.

He makes warm Love to me with the sunshine

He kisses me all over with the rain

He traces and caresses my body in the grass

He strolls bare foot with me through the garden

He lays carefree with me in meadows wild

There in summers trace we sleep like child.

I in His temple, He in mine.

He pulls me close through every storm

He cares away inflicted grief

By fire’s hearth He keeps me warm

He dreams with me from dusk to dawn.

He courts me with playful dancing skies

Reveals His Love before my eyes . . . He inspires me.

He proposes to me with diamond set heavens

He marries me in His Cathedral of trees

He honey moons my every Eve

Impregnates me with belief.

He replenishes my soul with no restrain

It is here I am renewed to Love the world

It is here He makes Love with infinite Love

Again . . . and again . . . and again.

T’is here from bud I became.

Sister Moon

She pours her tranquil gentle magic in to my body

Renews me with her honesty.
Held in the night by silhouettes of the days past.

As darkness squeezes its hold,
So does the gentle moon with all her strength sweetly shine.
The darker the dark, the brighter her beacon
Never leaving me alone.

Poised and dignified, silent and sure
Warm and swollen with compassion for me.
I am held by her courage.
And I learn from her humbleness as each and every day unfolds.

Humility

Listening to the psalm’s echo
Hollow, upon an eve so bright
Speaks louder than the silent night.
No seraph’s touch, no charcoal hope
Beloved Bethly one way street
A crib of hay, where Love doth sleep
And mortal men in Love doth weep.

No seraph’s touch, no charcoal hope
No burning lips, no touching hems.
Beloved Bethly one way street
A Holy lonely Eve again.

The Weathered Web

Silken threads of a spider’s web/Like the grooves on an old LP/Visible in sunlight’s gold

Abandoned by the spidery creature/Whose life’s toil went into creating/A safety net, a space to nourish life.

Embellished threads, strong enough to resist the breeze/Perfect enough apart, not to tangle together/So many paths all leading to the one centre.

I Pray.

Prey, dead caught in the web/Forsaken, waiting for their forever/Abandoned now by the creature who spun.

Who created the gossamer world/In which they were sacrificed unnecessarily/Shrouded carefully in silk/Creature or Creator?

Waiting to be dusted away/dismantled into eternity/By the seasons wrath

Diminished beauty/No more belonging than before it belonged.

Webless/unbelonging/Unto Him.

But for the engram of Love.

The Shepherd’s Fold

Noble Lover, my soul you do undress
And clothe me in your masculine shroud
Of dignity.  caressed.

Beautiful being, of ever Godly strength
My penance you so greatly forge
Ennobling in recompense.

When gentle man, my sorrows you dare lift
Tender is the shepherd’s hold
Life giving, is His kiss.

Beloved shepherd, my yearning soul you do re-dress
Shroud me in thou secret ways
Make me your shepherdess.

Darling spouse, my entirety you bless
Lead me unto your sacred fold
My honeymoon and rest.

My radiant Lord, with edifying breath
You burnish me with Golden hues
Make Love
The death of death.

Amen x

My heart I place within your hands
It beats outside of myself, to the rhythm of your name.

My sleep is laced with filigree paths
Each and every golden one leading me to you.

A maze of latticed Love.

Breath by breath I dance, leap, wait, sleep.

Your presence alone quietens my seeking spirit.

Your solitary peaceful peace imbued upon my peaceful solitude
Merged.

I want and need and pray for

Your mercy tangible
Your friendship transcendent
Your Love perpetual
Amen x

The Martyr

My children could be plucked from this ambiguous world one by one

And still I will Love.

My body could be ravaged by disease and wasted of all life

And still I will Love.

You could strike me with your hand, I would turn the other cheek

And still I will Love.

You could be Judas, or the hand of the sword that pierces my side

And still I will Love.

Beloved you could shatter my heart and slain my every hope

And still I will Love.

And so it is within that stillness

The endless depths of my Love

Conquer the depth of death for me.

In all brokenness

My will so absolutely free

Beyond all stillness

I will ever Love thee.

Regardless of your Love, I’m told

T’is a courageous place to be

Martyr’d for Love

To be or not to be.

 For Dad with Love

Today

All the white petals fell from the rose

My beautiful rose

And all that was left of the strong stem

Was an invisible spiral aspiring heaven bound

Umbilical

Connecting the clay to beyond the stars.

Imagine

Imagine I were denied/To bathe your feet within the fountain of my tears/Where sorrow over-spilled my littered eyes/Where fell the spirals of my hair/Which softly dried the drops, which kissed your skin/Which rest so bare.

Imagine I were denied/Of sitting idle at your feet, when you were near/Drinking parables and psalms till I was full/Whilst busy others wildly glare/That I should contemplate your lessons full of Love/They couldn’t bear.

Imagine I were denied/To gather water from the everlasting well/To learn the error of past days, to be restored/To lead all souls, to you who lost their way/ Anoint your feet in purest nard; embalm your flesh with all my Love/In prophesy, upon the risen day.

Imagine I were denied/To eat the bread, to drink the wine of the Divine/In memory of you, my dearest friend/To be received within your flock, be at the cross/To be denied against your will, to be concealed/Upon this rock.

Imagine I were denied/A Loving friendship in our times, because of fear/When 2000 years ago, Christ did bestow/Against His culture, all He knew/To Mary the apostle of His soul,/Beloved faithful, of the few.

Imagine I were denied/To be hung upon my cross, a Grace bestowed/To be condemned for Being True/To have enduring faith In Him, despite my sin./ Denied of writing poems, pouring wine/Of Loving you.

Imagine history that lied./His crucifixion been denied/His resurrection be defied/For there to be no Easter Tide./What prisoners we would be.

Imagine life, now we are free./Imagine

My Psalm of longing 

For when death comes, He will not apologise

He will be all-powerful and strong and sure

Though before I am taken from my world……

In my quietness, I want to lay skin to skin with you beneath the stars.

In my gentleness I want to awake with you soul to soul

In my soulfulness, I want to swim naked with you in the moonlight.

In my stillness, I want to breathe you in and breathe God back into you.

In my softness I want to kiss your eyelids whilst you are sleeping.

With all of my care my Beloved, I want to gently touch you, to soften your hurting, to awaken your spirit, to warm your life.

Without any reason I want to cradle your life in my Love, and breathe trust and closeness, and faith in Love, back into your life.

With all of my tenderness, I want to bless you with me, as I have been blessed with you.

With The Holy Spirit, I want us to share promises and vows of eternity. For when Love is eternal, life is eternal. God is Love.

Only then with all my peace, will I truly know eternal life.

For with my heart and soul I Love my dearest.

Beyond my soul. I Love only you.

And should my very prayer come true.

When death comes, I will not apologise.

I will be all-humble, all-powerful, all-strong and sure….

….. Knowing God blesses True Love forever more.

Kiss of Life

Again and again you kiss me on the mouth
You reverently breathe life into me
You teach me how to breathe
You lovingly impart the word
The word made flesh
You spirit me Holy.

Blessed invocations.

My response is intrinsic
My body arcs towards you
My tender soul surrenders
Your spirit is upon me
Again and again you kiss me on the mouth
Disciple.

Loved more than any other.

I am a vessel overflowing with your promise
I will pour the wine for many.
My vocation is to Love.

The crucifixion

Bearing the weight of the cross
Dragging through hopeless hope and humiliation
Until broken of all physical strength
Collapsing.  Prayers aspiring.
Nailed to the very wood with the iron will of Love enduring
The wood once nurtured from the clay, made oxygen for life.
Starving now of any of natures merciful spirit
The stab of human nature piercing the side
The side with the innocent guard down.  The inside.
Everyone who ever failed to Love, modestly shrinking away in self-preservation.
Blood red, like tear drops which cannot be contained
A visual outpouring of Love.

What is Love ?
That Your body be broken up for me.
That Your blood be sacrificed for me.
That Your sacrament is denied me.
God is this Yours or human will ?
I Love, where lesser hearts and souls have died
Yet I am being crucified.

There is another way,  My way

Where all our days could be blessed with loving kindness
A lifetime of intimate friendship, explored and shared.
Overflowing with support, kindred warmth, spiritual closeness.
Of understanding, respect, humility and compassion.
And Love of the very closest, eternal kind.
Love held in deepest Truth.
Love without sin.

Denied.

And still, I will bear the weight of my cross for eternity
For in Truth, He will forever keep me close to you.
For God is Love, and I am too.

The Veil

Agnostic days of my upbringing
Give way to emerging spirals of hope,
For I know so well, that in birth, in death, in Love, and in Truth
The veil is stretched so fine.
It is, as if it were pulled back to reveal
An ever patient, all-encompassing, immortal Whole
Whose influence I live and ultimately die for.

In death, my Dad and I were blessed by Your Presence
And in return, and in reverse
As he had done me the honour in life
I gave away my father in death.
In Your patience almighty Father, You waited for me to be ready
I lay his hand in Your hand
And in Your gentleness, You gave me a privilege eternal.
I felt You touch my soul, I felt You hold my spirit.

In birth You came when I knew You would, at 27
An annunciation already proclaimed within the mind,
And it was years past since I was told.
I still tried, and failed to prematurely override.
Then after 4 babes, and counting blessings
As death was all so close,
I knew too, there was another child,
Against all the will of my marriage, I knew.
And though the veil was drawn thin
Through the portal I told You, this life, I was not ready to depart.
But You knew, for there were matters of the heart.

Love a Truth, only I cannot deny
Its deepness, by deeper deep does bless
Matters not in life or death
For Truth to which I have no veil
You lay bare my soul.

I Love, as You God have willed me to Love.
And in Your plan, despite my blindness
You place my Love, where You can see it is needed.
And in Your eternal plan
No matter what my will undoes
In patience, You do again and again.
It matters not, how hard I try to extinguish Your will
A candle lighting another candle
Looses nothing in its quest.
Until in Your perpetual light I rest.

Despite man putting rules between You and I
Upon Your will God
Pray I am forever blessed

Eternity

I have found eternity orbiting the earth in the now.

My Love for you is not held in past days gone by.

Even though I Loved you yesterday and the days before.

My Love for you is not held in future days,

Even though I will Love you tomorrow and evermore.

I Love you encapsulated in eternity.

I Love you this very sacred hour.

I Love you in and beyond this world.

Eternal      Beautiful      Now.

Life and The Eternal

Enshroud me with your more than Love

Magisterium of my senses.

Encapsulate my un resided spirit

Slip your mind inside my mind

Enlighten me.

Braille of my soul

Ensoul me.

But pray you be of earthly nature

Celestial body compelling.

Infuse me

Soul to soul

Skin to skin.

Spirit me eternal.

Silence

The bad silence is like waiting idle for repose
No response, no repose
My too honest words leave me naked, exposed
A failing of my nature, my Love.
I pray one day I smile, that my great silence, be not your silence.
But now as ever, silence my wretched companion
Like death, forever at my side

If only Truth could name me
Break the damned spell
Replenish my silence
Silence that sustains me
Carries me from hell

For the good silence humbles me
It wraps me around, bound in its Godly cloak
And should I have fallen
It lightens my yoke.
Blesses my tired body
Loves me, regardless of my scars.

To feel Him is to be thrust into a great silence with ones self
Where I fear I am not so compassionate.
But when His silence comes
It binds me and lights the end of days
Where time is nigh so lonely
God knows.

I do

I want to enclose my arms around you, hold the weight of you against the repression that burdens you.

I want to cradle my Love abound you, bind myself to your centre, that beauty united might defy fascism.

I want to bare your grief, so that you may breathe air, air that breathes hope beyond a new day.

I want to bathe you in psalms, so that Love will refresh, and bless even the most dispirited of spirits.

I want to be His covenant, that authentic true Love,  will never leave your side. The sacrifice my life.

For every moment in or out of time.

I want to be peace in you.  Breathe with you.  Bleed with you.  Be with you.  For your burden also be mine.

For The Love of God

Silence upon silence upon silence.
I wait for God……
All I can find is myself.

I raise my heart up to God.

It is broken.

Better my broken heart, than no heart at all.

For the Love of God 2

Silence upon silence upon silence 
God comes to me

In the Love, all around.

Simply life within

Sublime

Beautiful

Spiritual

Faithful

Passion

Sacred

Holy

Peace

Love

Eternal.

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